Loyalty Works Both Ways
I had an interesting conversation with a friend this weekend.
Jake was talking about considering a change in positions. He wasn't happy with his job. He felt like he was being taken for granted—or perhaps even exploited a little.
Normally, comments like that can be dismissed as frustration or hyperbole.
Then he explained what had happened.
Last month, Jake worked 16 days in a row, averaging about nine hours a day. No breaks over the weekend. And interestingly, he didn't seem particularly bothered by it.
He wasn't looking for a pat on the back.
He wasn't complaining about the hours.
He was simply hoping there would be a little give-and-take when he eventually needed some flexibility.
As he put it:
"It's part of the job. I don't need a pat on the back for doing the job."
Fair enough.
Then he explained what did bother him.
The First Incident
The week after his 16-day stretch, his boss called him with a last-minute request.
Boss: "I need you in Seattle by Wednesday. You may need to stay through the weekend."
Jake: "I can get there by Wednesday, but I have to be home Sunday. It's my daughter's birthday."
Boss: "We'll see what we can do. I can't promise."
Jake: "I can be there by Wednesday, but I'll have to get home by late Saturday night."
Boss: [unintelligible mumbling] "Okay."
That wasn't the only incident.
The Second Incident
A couple of weeks later, Jake had been on the road working with a client—one that, by the way, he had personally signed.
He told his boss he needed to work from home on Friday because he had an appliance being delivered. His boss was fine with it.
Simple enough.
Except around 10:00 Friday morning, Jake received a call from the Office Manager.
For purposes of this story, let's call her "Karen."
Karen: "Are you off today? Sick?"
Jake: "No. I told my boss I needed to work from home."
Karen: "I'll have to confirm that with the boss."
About 45 minutes later, Jake was invited to a video call with his boss's boss—the "Big Boss"—and someone from HR.
Big Boss: "Hey, I understand you're out of the office today."
Jake was confused. And, by this point, definitely frustrated.
Jake: "Yeah. I've been on the road all week. I've got a delivery coming that I need to inspect and sign for."
Big Boss: "Did you clear it with anyone?"
Jake: "I told my boss I needed to work from home. He didn't seem concerned about it. He knows my work."
HR: "Working from home is against company policy. You could have taken a PTO day."
Jake: "Well, guys, I'm not sure what to say. I had a conversation with my boss, and I've been working since 7:15 this morning."
Big Boss: "We'll let it go this time. But don't let it happen again."
And there it was.
Jake wasn't coasting.
He wasn't trying to game the system.
He wasn't looking for special treatment.
He was doing what many of us do—investing in his career while trying to balance work and life as a parent.
He consistently brings in new clients. He's passionate about his niche in the construction industry. He's willing to travel. He's willing to work long stretches when the job requires it.
And, by his own admission, he makes good money.
So why is he looking for another job?
Because loyalty works both ways.
Before you read further, see if you can identify a few principles that might cause you—or your employees—to make the same decision Jake is making.
1. Loyalty Works Both Ways
Jake was willing to get on a plane with a day's notice and fly halfway across the country.
He was willing to work 16 days straight for the good of the company.
He wasn't asking for a bonus every time he went above and beyond. He wasn't looking for applause.
But when he needed to work from home for one day—with his boss's approval—he felt like he'd been disciplined for it.
Why?
Because someone else was "paying attention."
And, perhaps, a little jealous that Jake was allowed to work from home.
That's where things went sideways.
Employees notice whether loyalty is reciprocal.
If you expect someone to drop everything when the company needs them, they will reasonably expect the company to recognize that commitment when they occasionally need some flexibility.
That doesn't mean employees should get whatever they want.
It means there needs to be some balance.
2. Policies Can't Anticipate Every Circumstance
Over the previous two months, Jake had spent more than 20 days on the road.
He had brought in three new clients.
And he needed two things:
- To be home Sunday for his daughter's birthday.
- To work from home on a Friday while waiting for a delivery.
That's it.
Travel can absolutely be a requirement of the job.
Last-minute travel can absolutely be a requirement of the job.
Many of us have been there.
But treating a single father as though he's asking for some extraordinary favor because he wants to be home for his daughter's birthday is another matter.
I can't think of a policy or job requirement that makes that a reasonable response—particularly when weekends are normally considered time off.
And that's the point:
Policies are important. But policies should provide a framework, not eliminate common sense.
A policy prohibiting work from home may have legitimate reasons behind it.
Fine.
But if an exception has been approved by the employee's direct manager, why make a good employee feel like a criminal for following that approval?
And if your employees travel extensively, shouldn't there be some flexibility built into the system to recognize the demands you're placing on them?
3. Don't Punish Employees for Having a Life
This may be the biggest lesson of all.
Your employees have families.
They have children.
They have spouses, parents, friends, obligations, emergencies, birthdays, weddings, funerals, doctor's appointments, broken water heaters and appliances being delivered.
They have lives.
That's not a flaw in your workforce.
That's reality.
The goal isn't to create a workplace where employees can do whatever they want whenever they want.
The goal is to create a workplace where a good employee doesn't feel punished for occasionally needing to be a human being.
So Here's the Question
As you read Jake's story, you may be thinking:
"I'd never treat my people that way."
Or:
"That's way more extreme than anything we do around here."
Maybe.
But stop and think for a minute.
What promises have you made to employees—and then had to backtrack on?
- A promotion?
- A pay increase?
- A day off?
- Approved vacation?
- A schedule change?
Maybe something changed in the business and you couldn't fulfill the promise.
That's understandable.
How did you handle it?
Did you communicate honestly?
Did you acknowledge the impact on the employee?
Did you try to find another solution?
Or did you simply say, "That's the way it is"?
And here's another question:
How would your employees describe the way you handle unusual situations?
That's the one I'd really want to know.
Because it's easy to have great policies when everything is going according to plan.
It's easy to talk about culture when things are going well.
The real test of a company's culture is what happens when the unexpected occurs.
One More Example
I've seen this issue particularly in the HVAC industry.
Some companies have a long-standing practice of telling technicians:
"No vacation during the summer."
I understand the reasoning.
Summer is busy. Customers need air conditioning. Technicians are in high demand. Staffing is difficult.
But what happens when the technician has a wedding?
A once-in-a-lifetime family trip?
A milestone birthday?
A death in the family?
An important event involving their children?
Does the policy automatically trump everything?
Or does a good manager sit down with the employee and figure out how to make it work?
Sometimes the answer may still be no.
But there's a big difference between saying:
"I'm sorry, we can't make that work because of these specific circumstances. Let's see what we can do instead."
and:
"Policy says no."
One treats the employee like a person.
The other treats them like a line item in a handbook.
The Bottom Line
You don't have to give employees everything they ask for.
You don't have to eliminate policies.
You don't have to sacrifice the needs of the business.
But if you expect loyalty, commitment and flexibility from your employees, you should be prepared to demonstrate those same qualities when they need you.
Because eventually, every employee has a choice.
They can stay.
Or they can leave.
And sometimes the employee who walks out the door isn't the problem.
Sometimes they're simply responding to the way they've been treated.
